


something to rely on

by acrobaticblood



Category: Arctic Monkeys, Last Shadow Puppets
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, I'm Sorry, M/M, Phone Calls & Telephones, also miles is blonde in this one hehe, it's short and sad, they love each other but it's just not enough
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-04
Updated: 2019-10-04
Packaged: 2020-11-23 10:02:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20890295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acrobaticblood/pseuds/acrobaticblood
Summary: In the midst of recording in the studio Miles gets a phone call that shakes him up quite a bit.





	something to rely on

**Author's Note:**

> just a little canon one, because i couldn't stop thinking about alex's reaction to miles' hair  
enjoy xx

“Miles! Your phone is ringing!” Miles recognizes it as James’ voice coming from the other room of the studio. He removes the guitar he’s been fiddling with for the past hour off of his lap, settling it on the edge of the couch and slowly gets up, straightening the creases in his jeans as he does. He is pretty sure he left his phone on the mahogany coffee table in the control room and as he follows the annoying ring of it, he curses himself for leaving it so out of reach.

When he enters the room James is already holding the device out in his hand, so Miles takes it immediately checking to see who it is that’s being so damn stubborn right now and just needs to get to him.

The letters displayed on the screen make his stomach drop.

It’s Alex.

There is a brief second in which Miles considers denying the call, but then the desire for Alex’s voice to fill his ears again outweighs his fears, so he swipes right, accepting the video chat. He wishes that the call took a bit longer to connect though; he isn’t mentally prepared to face Alex so abruptly and without any previous warning.

“Miles! Hi!” Alex squeaks the moment his head shows up on the screen. The picture is blurry and painfully pixelated, but Miles can still make out the familiar features. The big doe eyes accompanied by the big lovely nose and the messy untamed curls of brown taking up almost all of the space.

“Hi Al” Miles says rather unenthusiastically. Alex stares at him from the other side, looking like he’s trying to remember why he called him in the first place.

“Why didn’t yeh tell me yeh were blonde?” He asks suddenly and Miles can see that he is trying hard not to come across as offended, but Miles knows him better than that. He _is_ offended. “Had to find out from one of those god awful picture apps” He mumbles annoyed. Miles opens his mouth to ask if he is referring to Instagram and if yes how did he see those photos if he doesn’t have an account (or does he?), but before he can do that Alex adds “Matt showed me.”

Miles doesn’t really know what to say. He himself isn’t sure why he didn’t let Alex know about his change. He wasn’t actively trying to hide it from him. That would be stupid. He would eventually find out anyway.

He guesses he just kind of thought Alex wouldn’t care all that much about it. If you were to go by all their recent encounters, or rather non-encounter, because there really weren’t that many of them, you wouldn’t blame him for thinking so. Alex isn’t the best at staying in contact and there is only so much Miles can do about it. Especially now that Alex has a girlfriend with whom he spends the most of his time with.

“I like it, yeh know” Alex ignores Miles’ lack of response. “Makes yeh look proper tough” He offers gentle smile with that, running a hand through his own hair and then sitting back in a chair Miles recognizes as his kitchen one.

“Yeah?” Miles hates himself for it, but he still grins back, strangely relived now that he knows Alex finds his new look endearing. 

“Yeah” Alex nods ardently. “Wif the earring ‘n’ all.”

Oh the earring. Miles had almost forgotten about it. He didn’t have it the last time he saw Alex. That’s new for him too. Unwillingly, Miles gets hit by a sudden wave of all the built up experiences and memories and everyday shenanigans Alex missed out on in his life. A lot of things happened to him in the past year and Alex hasn’t properly been there for any of it. It feels weird. On the other hand, he’s sure he’s missed out on just as many things in Alex’s life too.

“I missed yer face” Alex lets him know. He’s being uncharacteristically blunt. That’s usually one of Miles traits, but today he doesn’t even feel like speaking, let alone being straightforward about it. He lets Alex struggle instead. “It’s been a while since we saw each other” Alex points out and Miles wants to tell him that that’s true and that it’s all his fault. One can reach out only so many times, before the avoiding starts to make them feel stupid and insecure for even trying to stay in contact in the first place.

“It’s been a bit longer than a while Alex” Miles says and it comes out particularly bitter. The grainy picture does nothing to hide the way Alex’s expression falls at that and Miles would like very much not to be so affected by it, but Alex’s reaction makes him add “Missed yer face too.” He’s not lying, but he didn’t particularly want to admit it to Alex.

Alex smiles and Miles knows that smile – the sad, sympathetic one. He paints it on when he knows he’s screwed up, but it’s already too late and there’s not much he can do about it.

“I’m sorreh” He says because that’s probably the only reasonable thing he can dig out to say to Miles right now.

“I know yeh are” Miles reminds him. Of course he’s sorry, but that’s all he ever is. He’s miserable and he misses Miles like an amputated limb, but he still does nothing about it. 

“Wanna run me hand through tha’ hair” Alex changes the under-laying subject. “Bet it would feel nice.” He continues with his bluntness and Miles has to glance around the room to check if anyone’s in it, but there’s no one. They’ve probably gone for a smoke or something. He makes his way over to the dark brown leather armchair and flops himself on it rather ungracefully. He starts fiddling with the chain around his neck.

“I’d like tha’, yeah” He muses. Alex’s eyes spread open in surprise, as if he wasn’t aware of how much Miles would like that. Miles sometimes can’t for the life of him tell what’s going on in that boys head and it drives him insane. How could he even for a second think that Miles wouldn’t want those calloused jittery fingers in his hair? That’s all he ever wants. That’s all he ever thinks about. That’s where the problem lays for God’s sake. He wants Alex’s fingers in hair and Alex’s kisses on his face so much so that it makes him pissed when the other man can’t be bothered to return a simple call.

“Why didn’t yeh return me calls? Or me messages?” Miles speaks out, short and frank.

“I…” Alex stumbles on his words, caught in the weight of Miles’ accusation. “I wasn’t sure yeh still wanted them to be returned after I ignored them for so long to be honest.”

“I always want ‘em returned” Miles states. “I thought yeh knew tha’.”

“I-I do” Even on the camera and kilometers away Alex still can’t look Miles in the eye. If he was here Miles would bring that chin up with his index finger and brush his thumb under the skin of Alex’s eye. A simple gesture to make him feel safe and secure. He can’t really do that over the phone. “It’s joost… Yeh know how I get.”

As Alex looks up from his lap with those gloomy sad eyes Miles wishes he could reach through the screen and pull him out from his kitchen, until he’s settled firmly in Miles’ lap. He just nods whispering “It’s okay” that Alex probably can’t even hear, but instead reads from his lips.

They look at each other for a moment and Miles knows that Alex knows that it’s so far from okay. They’ve never been this far from okay that that four letter word feels like a long lost boat in the fog. Miles wonders if the boat can ever come out on the other side and meet the clear cloudless sky ever again.

“Will I see yeh again?” He dares to ask. It feels scary thinking about never seeing Alex again, but he’s not sure he knows anything about the man anymore, so asking it feels necessary too. Alex’s eyebrows raise in surprise, his eyes blinking rapidly.

“Of course, yeah. Of course yeh’ll see me again” He assures. “Fook. I fooked it up bad this time, didn’t I?” It looks like it’s finally getting to his head just how much it all messed Miles up.

“Yeah. Yeah, yeh kind of did” Miles confirms.

“Fook. Okay. Yeah. I’m sorreh. I truly am.” He repeats again and Miles wants to scream into his face that the apologies don’t mean anything to him. Apologies won’t install Alex’s musky scent back into Miles’ nostrils, they won’t wrap Alex’ arms around his waist, they won’t place cheeky kisses in the corners of his mouth. Apologies can’t do that. Alex has to do it.

“I’ll come back to yeh” The man on the other end of the phone call says suddenly. “I promise.”

Miles sighs, leaning back on his armchair. Just like Alex’s apologies, his promises don’t mean anything either. They’re rarely fulfilled; usually they just end up being empty words Miles relies way too dependently on. But he has learned to live for and take only the times when those promise are actually carried out and fulfilled, so he just nods understandingly and hopes that this is one of those times.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading folks! xx


End file.
